Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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