Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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