You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
