Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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