oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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