she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
