There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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