i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize