we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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