at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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