Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
