I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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