Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
and she was petting her beer can
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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