i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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