I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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