I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My bed smells like the plague
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