I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
now i know why i became what i already was.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face