K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work