grinding to god bless the USA? really?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.