We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
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Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
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You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god