If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER