Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
