I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize