One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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