Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
