yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
