ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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