Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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