Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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