well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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