I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
