Where did you get a picture of my penis
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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