NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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