Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
