ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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