watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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