Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize