Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
