are you still at the devil's house?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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