I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I need to calm my uterus...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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