is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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