she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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