Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
