dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
