if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
