Sponge bath it is.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
