you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
