I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
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Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
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They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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