I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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