Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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