Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
