Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
