I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm like, not good at living.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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