i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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