I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
