Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
