i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
