her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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