Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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