I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
