Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
