I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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