if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
