Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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