I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize