apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
