I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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